Book Review: Transformed by Birth

I did come into Transformed by Birth somewhat skeptical at the beginning because of how anti-structure and control Bushnell was when it came to birth. I think she was trying a little too hard at the beginning to do the whole “whatever you think you know, throw it out” schtick. She made a lot of bold claims at the beginning, that once she actually explained her philosophies ended up not being as extreme as I thought. For example, she pooh-poohed birth plans and I was worried she was going to try to throw them out completely, but it turns out we share pretty similar views on them as a list of preferences rather than actually reinforcing the narrative that we can control our birth story and outcome just by writing it down.

I haven’t read a ton of parenting books, but this one does feel pretty different and focuses much less on the physical markers of pregnancy/birth/postpartum and more on the emotional and relational aspects that will change (i.e. transform you). I appreciated the acknowledgment that expectant parents will be reading other books, and should be reading and gaining knowledge, but that not everything is meant to work for everyone and every situation. The emphasis on trusting intuition (and building that as a skill first) and nurturing in the ways and spaces you already are familiar with, is likely more important than some of the tangible advice in other books. If I had to sum up the field: there are parenting books that are meant to build competence, and those intended to build confidence. This is certainly in the latter group, which makes it a great unexpected recommendation for the to-be parent who’s already read all the familiar titles.

The parallels with mythology and the heavy use of allegory and allusion at times helped Bushnell frame her narrative more clearly, and at other times held her back. Even though the book was highly structured, a lot of the same thoughts and phrases kept returning chapter after chapter and I wonder if it was meant to reinforce recurring themes or if she was being needlessly redundant. I did especially love the comparison of Artemis and Apollo as they represent the conflicting worlds of labor/birth and Western society. In an Apollonian world, we learn how to be “professional” and how to meet societal expectations and to feel guilty when we don’t or can’t. In labor and birth, all those rules are thrown out the window in order for us to get in touch with our primal, or Artemisian, selves. The way she explains this dichotomy makes so much sense, and I love sharing this example with clients during prenatal sessions because it’s such a solid way of understanding a change laboring people go through without much control but which can be very overwhelming if they don’t expect it.

I will say, things got a little self-congratulatory towards the end, especially when talking about her relationship with her husband. Maybe there are really strong marriages and co-parent relationships we can learn from. It just felt a little woo-woo with the eye contact rituals and stuff. But like she said before, take what you want and skip what you don’t in these books. I first read this book for full-spectrum certification over a year ago, and since then I will say it has grown on me a lot more and has become a favorite. Maybe we can all make some room for more woo-woo stuff in our parenting and childbirth education. You never know what’s going to be the thing that resonates with you the most when you’re in the thick of it.