Book Review: Revolutionary Mothering
“This is why mothering, as a social practice, exists in a state of paradox—culturally idealized (i.e. in a white supremacist way) yet lacking in any social or economic value. It is literally priceless.”
Revolutionary Mothering is an essay collection exploring the concept of mothering, both in the oldest and most literal sense of giving birth to and raising children, and also in its use in queer spaces as a way to “mother” those without literal mothers; not to mention how women and femmes are socially conditioned to develop a mothering instinct that informs their relationship with the world at large. As a childless woman, I still feel like a mother towards certain people or in certain situations that call for my instinct to kick in. It’s a useful survival tool, especially for those who are in a constant state of survival.
My first thought when I started reading was the structure. With three editors and dozens of contributors, it would’ve been easy to lose the plot early on. But defining specific sections and the goals of each, the editors were able to cater each piece to its section and create a more cohesive flow through the book. As a lifelong reader with less and less free time on her hands, I appreciate essay collections for their bite-sized chunks of information and stories while still following a higher order. They’re kind of like a birds-eye view of cars on a highway; zoom into each car and find a different person behind the wheel with a different motivation for traveling, a different story to tell. But zoom back out and you can see they are all headed to the same place. Essay collections pull together a lot of different perspectives and writing styles to diversify the vehicle we take to our collective destination. Furthermore, a typical feature of the “revolutionary” book is the eschewing of traditional norms of grammar and content; I could tell the editors had a light touch throughout, allowing each contributor’s authentic voice to come through. And, of course, I’ve been saying essay collection but there was also poetry and photography throughout, further proving the point of many forms of expression.
One thing I noticed when it came to the higher structure of the different sections is that even though they had clearly distinct goals, there was still a lot of overlap in the actual content. Though I think in a book like this that is easily excused by the fact that telling stories of mothering and motherhood inherently pulls in many different topics, and talking about how one has learned a specific lesson about motherhood usually requires one to talk about how they came to be a mother or how they learned from their mothers, creating a sort of progressive feedback loop to earlier sections, slowly gaining speed toward the end. I especially think that the opening essay/lecture from June Jordan was a good way to set the overall tone and pace.
My main takeaway from Revolutionary Mothering is that Black mothering is inherently queer and revolutionary, simply because they have been told they shouldn’t exist and shouldn’t mother, and yet continue to thrive and raise children in an anti-Black society. Many of the essays featured mothering situations where the parent leaned on their communities (both familial and local) to raise children outside of the traditional nuclear family model. When communities get involved in child-rearing, the children are exposed to more than they would with just their parents, and more involved in the community long-term. Plus, the parent feels more cared for and less burnt out so that they can balance mothering with jobs and activism. This approach seems at once a middle finger to the idea of “you can have/do it all” and a triumph proving that with the right community support you can. I think this is a strategy more parents rely on than they admit, and one I would like to see come back as the norm. Individually, we can’t have it all; but together we can do it all.
“It is widely acknowledged that in Western culture we expect parents, especially mothers, to always act like they can “do it all” with grace and ease. I have found that the radical/natural parenting community is no different. Many mom acquaintances of mine do not deign to share much of the difficult moments they experience as caregivers. The need to present as though one is successful at mainstream parenting techniques has simply been substituted with an alternative…I find this discouraging and not radical at all, and I don’t see myself, as a mama with a disability, reflected in that reality.”